Adventures in Bobbysitting: a cartoon in prose
by Cadet Val
Summary: Bob is assigned a highly exhausting student intern. PLEASE R&R I need my ego stroked regularly.
1. In which there is an unexpected arrival

**Chronological Note #1:**   
This fic takes place after a hypothetical Season 5; everything has settled down and all romantic connections are firmly established. 

**Chronological Note #2:**   
I use the following time scale:   
picosecond = second nanosecond = minute millisecond = hour second = day   
minute = week hour = month day = year week = 5 years (the interval between birthdays) 

**Disclaimer:**   
Val is mine (heck, she's _me_), but feel free to borrow her for your own fics so long as you tell me first and give me licence to meddle. All other characters (except for Angus, who's only in two paragraphs in the last scene and hardly counts), ReBoot and all related indicia are copyright to Mainframe Entertainment, Inc. and are used without permission. You know the drill. 

  
  
  


Bob's temper was reaching the breaking point. "Spammit, Cecil, I've been waiting for milliseconds!"   
Cecil ignored him.   
"_Please_, Cecil! I just want an energy shake!"   
Cecil sniffed and turned away.   
"For the love of the User, Cecil, how much polishing do those glasses need?"   
"Bob?" came a voice from his wrist.   
"_What?!_ Oh, hi, Turbo. Sorry about that," said Bob, taking a deep breath to calm down. "What's processing?"   
"Uh… you okay?" said Turbo, raising an eyebrow.   
"Yeah, it's nothing. Just problems with the service," added Bob, glaring at Cecil.   
"No trouble lately?"   
"Just residual. There was some street fighting over in G-Prime. Ex-virals. I got 'em calmed down. Other than that, everything's been pretty quiet."   
"Good." Turbo looked relieved. "I'll make it quick, Bob. I'm sending you a cadet for some on-the-job training. She'll be staying with you for two minutes."   
Bob stared at the tiny image in the centre of Glitch's gearwheel. "What? Why?"   
"She's kinda, well, rambunctious. Shows promise, but she's getting to be a bit much for us. We thought some time in the field would help her burn off some energy, and I know you'll be able to handle her."   
"What makes you think I'll be able to—?"   
"_Bobby!_"   
Bob spun around just in time for the leaping figure to hit him in the chest instead of the back. Together they went crashing to the ground. All this he was used to, but this sprite was considerably bigger than Enzo, and immediately hugged him hard enough to squeeze out what breath still remained to him. Finally, the sudden arrival released him and asked, "How's it going, Brown-Eyes?"   
"Vv… Vvv…" panted Bob, staring at the petite lavender sprite kneeling on his stomach. "Val?"   
"Surprise!" grinned Val, brushing her shiny golden hair out of her eyes.   
"Val!" Bob grinned widely and struggled to sit up. "I haven't seen you in days! How's my little Goldilocks? What are you, 11 now?"   
"_Bob!_"   
Bob and Val both turned to look at the doorway. Three green sprites were staring at them. The smallest detached himself from the group and ran over. "Hey! You're in my spot!"   
"Ohhh no you don't!" retorted Bob. "There isn't room for both of you!" He gently dislodged Val and stood up, brushing himself off. "Hi, guys. This is my cousin Val. Val, this my girlfriend, Dot Matrix…"   
Val winked at Bob. "Well, it's about time! Nice to meet you," she added, shaking Dot's hand enthusiastically.   
"Likewise," said Dot, smiling bemusedly.   
"Dot's the Command.com of Mainframe," Bob informed Val.   
"Hey, good job, Brown-Eyes!"   
Bob grinned and rolled his eyes. "Yeeeah. And this is her little brother Enzo…"   
"Hi," said Enzo, eyeing her uniform with envy. Val answered him with a nod and a grin.   
"And this is… well… also her little brother Enzo." This earned Bob a perplexed look. "There was a temporal anomaly. Long story."   
"Call me Matrix," said the giant, completely enveloping Val's hand in his own.   
"Where's AndrAIa?" asked Bob.   
Matrix scowled. "Down on Level 6, lookin' at bikes."   
"Ooh! Can I go?" exclaimed Val, bouncing excitedly.   
"But you just got here!"   
"Yeah, I know, but bikes are cool. Ooh, a jukebox!" She darted past the stunned sprites. Enzo wandered after her, fascinated.   
"Gosh," said Dot. "She's a little intense, isn't she?"   
"Let's see… 'B.S. 'n' P.'… 'Upload to Heaven'…"   
Bob nodded. "This is amazing!" he said, half to himself. "I haven't seen her since I was at the Academy. She wasn't even 01 then. Real smart, though. We kept in touch, but not since…" He sighed.   
"Ooh! Here's a good one! 'Fest Evil 1001'!"   
"I know." Dot patted him on the shoulder. "What's she doing here, anyway?"   
"Is there a volume control on this thing?"   
"Turbo sent her for on-the-job training."   
"It's on the back."   
Matrix raised an eyebrow. "Training? Here?"   
"Oof. You're smaller than me. See if you can reach it."   
"Like Dot said, she's a little intense. The Academy want her out of their hair for a while. And she's my cousin, so…" He shrugged.   
"I see," said Dot. "Even so, _it's a bit short notice!_"   
"_I know, but it's okay! There's room in my apartment! Heck, after the beds in the Academy dormitory, she'll probably be comfortable sleeping on the floor!_"   
"_Oh, for…!_" Matrix stomped over to Val, who was dancing around and singing at the top of her voice, and clapped a massive hand over her mouth. He dragged her backwards to the jukebox, which he pulled away from the wall with his free hand, revealing a startled Enzo. Matrix wrenched the volume knob all the way to the left. Then he picked up Enzo by the collar and raised him until they were face to face. "Do you mind?" he demanded.   
He lowered the trembling child to the floor and released his grip on Val's face, then returned to Bob and Dot. "Please tell me I wasn't really like that."   
Bob smiled. "Wow, Matrix! Your social skills are really improving!"   
Dot looked sceptical. "You think so?"   
"Hey, a few hours ago, he would've shot the jukebox."   
Dot suppressed a smile. "So, anyway, how long will she be here?"   
"Couple of minutes."   
"What'll you do with her?"   
"Well, like I said, she's here for training, but there won't be much to do until a Game shows up. So I guess I'll just show her around Mainframe. Give her a tour of Kits, Baudway, maybe…"   
"Hey Bobby Enzo and I are heading over to Floating Point to go circuit racing okay see ya!"   
The trio whirled around in time to see a lavender-and-blue blur snatch up a duffel bag on its way out the door to where Enzo was waiting on his zipboard. Before anyone could call after them, they were already out of earshot.   
"Oh, no! Dot, can you go after them?"   
"I've got some accounts to go over. Why can't you?"   
Bob sighed. "I'm too tired. I never did get that energy shake. I'd never catch up with them."   
"Matrix?"   
"Aw, Sis…"   
Bob gave him a pleading look. "Matrix, those two need supervision. We'll let AndrAIa know where you've gone. You can take Val to my apartment when they're done."   
Matrix grunted. "Alphanumeric," he muttered, and stormed out after the two younger sprites.   
Dot and Bob gazed in the direction of Floating Point Park for a while. Dot broke the silence. "She's a cadet? She seems a bit… frivolous."   
"Hey, they took me, didn't they?"   
"Point."   
"Besides, her parents thought the Academy might teach her some discipline."   
Dot gave him a look. "Bob… _you_ graduated from the Academy."   
"I know."   
"What were they thinking?"   
"Haven't a clue." 


	2. In which Val gets settled in for the nig...

With Dot there, Bob was finally able to get his energy shake. Still a bit fatigued, he went home and sprawled on the couch. Mike the TV was nowhere to be seen, and it was blessedly quiet.   
Which meant that there was nothing to block out the terrible din that heralded AndrAIa's arrival a millisecond later. Bob yawned and descended to the apartment building's courtyard.   
Even over the rising growl of an unnecessarily large and powerful motorbike, there was another noise audible, a high keening sound that drilled straight into the brain by way of the temples. By the time the bike came in for a landing, it could be distinguished as a girl's voice crying "Wheeeeeeeee!"   
Just overtaking the bike on their zipboards were the two Enzos. The elder version looked rather haggard. Little Enzo pulled ahead and sped over to Bob.   
"Wow, Bob!" He was wearing an awed expression. "Your cousin is supercooled! She beat me nineteen times!"   
"Out of how many?"   
"Twenty-seven," said Matrix in a hollow voice. His mechanical right eye was spinning slowly sideways, and wobbling slightly. He glided up to Bob, stepped off his zipboard, and bent down until their noses were practically touching. Very softly, he growled, "Let's get one thing straight right now. _I don't babysit._" Without another word, he remounted his zipboard and zoomed off in the direction of Baudway.   
Bob glanced from the departing Matrix to the now-stationary bike and back to Enzo. "What's with him?"   
"I think they broke him," said AndrAIa, climbing out of the bike.   
"Nah, we had fun!" insisted Enzo. "We had a zipboard race too. And look!" He pulled the yo-yo off his belt and snapped the halves together. "Val showed me how to do Around the Net!" He demonstrated, nearly hitting Bob in the ear.   
AndrAIa was helping Val down from the bike. "Hey, Val, sounds like you've got an admirer."   
"Isn't she a little old for you, Enzo?" added Bob with a wink.   
Enzo looked startled. Val laughed. "Maybe I'll see you next second, okay, spriteling?"   
"Alphanumeric!"   
"Thanks for the ride, AndrAIa! That _is_ a nice bike!"   
AndrAIa smiled. "No problem. C'mon, Li'l Sparky. Let's go catch Matrix before he hurts someone." They climbed onto the bike and were off.   
Bob blinked and shook his head. "All right, Val, let's get you settled in."   
"Okay! What a great building!"   
"I like it," agreed Bob as they entered the elevator tube. He eyed Val's duffel bag sceptically. It was in the Academy colours, and rather small. "Is that your only bag?"   
"Yeah." They began to shoot upwards.   
"For a whole two minutes?"   
"It's zipped," she explained, pointing. It had a zipper pull in the form of a hot pink and purple icon.   
"Okay. Ah! Here we are," he said, opening the door.   
"Awww!" There was a picture of Dot on the wall of the entryway, directly opposite the door. Val grinned slyly at Bob. "How sweet!"   
"Hey, I'm a sweet guy," Bob answered nonchalantly. "Come on, this way. Here's the living room. You'll be sleeping in here, okay?"   
"Ooh, spacious!" Val dashed forward, looked out the window, deposited her bag on the icon-patterned table, sat on the sofa and bounced a few times, leaping from the last bounce back onto her feet.   
"… And by now you've seen the kitchen… My bedroom's through there, and the bathroom's that way."   
"Is that the garage, then?" asked Val, pointing to the remaining door. "Can I see the car? Is the interociter still giving you trouble?"   
"Yes to all three," said Bob with a grimace, opening the garage door. Val darted through.   
"Oh, Bobby, it's fantastic! Wow! Oh, hey, I brought you something for it!" She zoomed back into the living room, plunked herself down on the couch, and unzipped her bag.   
Academy gear certainly was high-quality, Bob mused. The bag's compression must have been excellent, for Val pulled out in rapid succession a rolled-up energy mat, a stack of comic bytes depicting a yellow sprite in a trench coat, a lava lamp, several badly crumpled spare uniforms, a penguin (which looked oddly familiar), and a small trampoline.   
"Here it is!" cried Val triumphantly. She ran back to Bob and pressed the object into his hand.   
"A random number generator?"   
"Uh-huh! A fuzzy one!" Val beamed.   
Bob laughed. "Hey, thanks! Just what it needed!" He hung it from the rear-view mirror. 

The remainder of the second was devoted to conversation and jam sandwiches. They had, after all, a great deal of catching up to do, Bob having been either too busy, too preoccupied, or entirely unable to correspond for over a week. Turbo had told Val something of what had happened in Mainframe, and she naturally knew about Daemon (_everyone_ knew about Daemon), but she hadn't heard many details and of Bob's adventures in the Web she knew nothing. She listened with rapt attention. When it was her turn, she told Bob of her rather less eventful time at the Academy; she was, she said, at the top of her encryption class, although doing rather poorly in combat training (she was nimble and had good aim, but she wasn't very strong). She also, it became apparent, knew perfectly well why she had been sent to stay with Bob; she seemed oddly proud of the fact that she had managed to exasperate just about the entire Academy.   
It was strange, mused Bob. Val certainly was hyperactive, but it wasn't a strictly physical hyperactivity. It was as though some part of her had to be active at all times; occupy her mouth or ears, and the rest of her could stay unnervingly still.   
Finally, Bob yawned. "It's been a long second," he said. "I'm about ready to log off. You tired?"   
"Not quite yet, but that's okay," replied Val. She went back into the living room, where she unrolled her energy mat. Then she dug in her duffel bag for those few items not yet strewn across the floor. First came a stack of small windows slightly larger than the comic bytes.   
"Puzzle applets?" asked Bob, peering over her shoulder.   
"Yeah, I've got a subscription," answered Val, rummaging in the bag again. This time she produced a small, shapeless lump of some swirling, brightly coloured material. She gave it a hug and laid it on her mat.   
"You've got a toy _null_?" Bob asked incredulously.   
"Yeah, why?"   
He looked at her askance. "Isn't that a little morbid?"   
"But he's so soft and squeezy!" said Val brightly. "I call him Buttons."   
Bob paused, then shrugged. "Hey, whatever processes your data. See you in the morning." 


	3. In which Bob is very tired

Bob awoke feeling considerably refreshed. His morning toilette completed, he entered the living room to find Val already awake and bent over a puzzle applet. She looked up at his approach.   
"Oh, good, you're up!" She immediately sprang from the sofa, ran over to the media player, and turned it on full blast.   
Bob smiled, although the music was a bit louder than even he liked and Val had already tampered with the player's skin setting. (It had previously had the appearance of a classic wood-panelled radio; now it was an eye-watering criss-cross of citric colours that Bob couldn't even _remember_ downloading.) But the cousins had much the same taste in music, and before long they were both singing along to the Beach Binomes' "110011001".   
Once the song had ended and they were through laughing, Bob said, "Well, now that we've woken up the entire sector, what do you say to breakfast at Dot's?"   
"Good idea! You don't keep very much in the pantry, do you?"   
On the way out, Val peered closely at the portrait of Dot, smirked, and commented, "You know, Brown-Eyes, you really should clean this better if you're having company over. There are smudges _all_ over her mouth."   
Bob's face glowed like a descending Game cube. 

"Hey! You've got more whipped cream on your half!"   
"I do not!"   
"Yes you do!"   
"I divided it _very_ carefully."   
"Oh, come on! _Look_ at it! There's loads more on your side."   
"You're hallucinating."   
"Here, I'll fix it."   
There was a clatter of cutlery.   
The binomes in the Diner looked with interest at the sight of two sprites in Guardian uniforms having a miniature swordfight over the top of an extremely large waffle.   
They had, unusually, been served quite promptly despite Dot's absence. Where Bob had failed with cajolery, threats, politeness, sarcasm, and bloody-minded persistence, Val had succeeded through a combination of confusion and outrage. First, she had pronounced Cecil's name correctly. She was probably the first customer ever to do so, and Cecil was clearly nonplussed. Then, when he showed no sign of serving them immediately, she offered (with evident sincerity and her usual eagerness) to get the food herself. Rather than permit this, Cecil hastened to bring them their meal.   
Bob was actually rather relieved that Dot wasn't there at the moment. While he ordinarily preferred to spend as much time with her as possible, Val had a way of grinning at him whenever she was mentioned that made him reluctant to be in the presence of both at once. Besides, he was sure she wouldn't approve of the mock-duel.   
He quickly disarmed Val, sending her knife pinwheeling past a pale fuchsia sprite who had just entered. "Whoops! Sorry, Mouse!"   
"That's all right, sugah. Who's your friend?"   
"This is my cousin Val. Val, this is Mouse."   
"Alphanumeric to meet you! Bobby's told me all about you. I love your hair!"   
"Well, thank you, honey. The pleasure's mutual. So, what was it Ah just interrupted?"   
Val put on a look of injured dignity. "Bobby unjustly accused me of hogging the whipped cream."   
"Unjust!" cried Bob indignantly. "Mouse, look at this waffle!"   
"It was a perfectly fair division," insisted Val.   
Mouse suppressed a smile. "Well, if _you_ think it's equal, and _you_ don't, why don't you switch sides?"   
The Guardians looked at each other, then at Mouse. "Where's the fun in that?" asked Val.   
This time Mouse did smile. "Of course. So, Val," she said, sliding into the seat next to Bob, "you're a Guardian?"   
"Well, a cadet."   
"Have you been in many Games?"   
"Some. But there're always a few full Guardians along, to bail us out. Takes away a lot of the excitement. Mostly it's just classes."   
"Val's at the top of her encryption class," Bob put in.   
"_Real_ly?" said Mouse happily. "What're you studying?"   
As the conversation wandered off into a maze of algorithms and modular functions, the now totally ignored Bob transferred some of the whipped cream from Val's half of the waffle to his own and applied himself to his breakfast. 

"So, what's on the agenda for today?"   
Bob scratched his head. Val had been there for almost a minute, and he was running out of ideas. He had shown her around much of Baudway and pretty much all of Kits; she had oohed and aahed at the fancy homes in Beverly Hills and poked around the less restricted areas of the Principal Office (where she had spent a pleasant millisecond giggling over Phong's JPEG album). She had also spent a great deal of time with Enzo, usually with one or other of the adults in frantic pursuit.   
"Hmm." A thought struck him, and he brightened up. "Hey, Dot! Could you give Mr. Mitchell a call? Maybe he'd take us boating."   
"Just a nano, let me finish this spreadsheet…"   
A Vid Window appeared in the air, facing them. "Sir! Ma'am!" barked the uniformed binome. "We've got another situation in G-Prime! It's worse this time. Could turn into a riot."   
Bob sighed and rose. "Be right there, Chief." The binome nodded and the window closed. "Dot, I'll take care of the fighting. You find Matrix and do whatever you can to keep him out of it. You remember what happened last time."   
"Why?" asked Val curiously. "What happened last time? I'd think Matrix would be the ideal sprite for riot control."   
"Oh, he got the fighting under control, all right…" Bob grimaced.   
"Ohhhh. Ooh." Val shrugged. "Well, let's go, then!"   
"What? No no no. You stay here."   
"But Bobby, this is Guardian business! I'm here for job experience, remember? If I don't go, what's the _point_?"   
Dot frowned. "She's right, Bob."   
"But you said yourself you're no good at fighting!"   
"I should at least watch," insisted Val.   
Bob threw up his hands, a beaten sprite. "All right, you can watch. From a safe distance," he added pointedly. "Any sign of the situation escalating, and you come back here right away. Got that?"   
"Yes sir!" said Val, saluting smartly.   
As they headed for the door, she added, "Do you think it _will_ turn into a riot?"   
"Nah. Me and Glitch can stop it before it gets that far, no problem." 

He staggered back into the Diner several millis later, moaning, "The horror! The horror!"   
Dot immediately raced over and helped him to the table she was sharing with a sulking Matrix. "Bob! What happened? Was the fighting that bad?" Matrix scowled even more deeply.   
"Fighting?" Bob looked puzzled. "Oh, yeah, there was fighting. No, that was okay."   
"Then what in the Net happened?" asked Dot, highly alarmed.   
Bob slumped forward on the table. "We ran into AndrAIa on the way back," he said in a muffled monotone. "I said they could go shopping."   
Matrix gaped. "You said _what_? Are you random?"   
Dot gave him a look of pity. "Oh, Bob, you poor, sweet idiot. What were you thinking?"   
"I was tired!" moaned Bob. "Riot control really takes it out of you. It affected my judgement."   
"I'll say." A worried look crossed Dot's face. "Where's Val?"   
In the same flat tone, Bob replied, "On the roof with Enzo, dropping data balloons on binomes."   
"Oh, no!" Dot sprinted for the door. Soon after, the sounds of haranguing came from the direction of the roof. "What are you… bad for business… never stopped to think… User knows I…"   
"So where's AndrAIa?" asked Matrix, who now seemed considerably less disappointed at having missed the fighting.   
"Outside," Bob told the table. "She said she could use a hand with the bags."   
Matrix sighed and got up. "Yeah, all right." Halfway to the door, he paused. "You sure you're all right?"   
"Yeah, I'm okay. I just need a little—"   
And then the alarm sounded. A bell began to ring, the sky outside darkened, and a pleasant female voice that sounded like it was coming from everywhere at once chanted, "Warning: incoming Game. Warning: incoming Game."   
Bob rose instantly and started to run for the door, but after a few steps he stopped and bent over with his hands on his knees. Breathing heavily, he muttered, "Just give me half a nano."   
Matrix glanced out a window at the distant purple glow descending on Kits, toward which two small figures were already flying. "No time! It'll be down in less than four nanos!"   
Bob didn't ask how Matrix knew; the renegade might never have received formal Guardian training, but he probably had more Game experience than anyone else in the Net. "Ugh. Maybe you should take this one without me."   
"No way! I told you before, I don't babysit!" With that, he grabbed Bob, heaved him over his shoulder without apparent effort, and ran out the door.   
As Bob twisted, protesting, he glimpsed AndrAIa staring at them, several huge shopping bags hanging from each arm, and Dot hovering near the roof on her zipboard, desperately juggling an armful of brightly coloured balloons. Then they were separated, first by distance and then by a descending purple wall. 


	4. In which the Game begins

Matrix set Bob down carefully on the marble floor.   
"Thanks," said Bob. "You know, you shouldn't have done that. I'm too tired to be any help. I'll just slow you down." He sighed.   
"Look, Bob," growled Matrix. "I am _not_ getting stuck alone with these two again, and especially not in a Game. Val's here to train with _you_, so _you_ can spammed well train her. Besides, we need you for the Game stats," he added in a gentler tone.   
"This is true," said Bob. He looked around. "Nice."   
They were in a long, airy hall built entirely of white marble. Elegant pillars abounded; there was a frieze running around the perimeter of the room just below the ceiling, but that put it too high up to make out the details. Nearer to hand were twelve golden thrones which lined three walls; the fourth wall consisted mostly of a large archway. In the centre of the hall was another, plainer chair beside a circular firepit. There was a person in each seat. All thirteen were completely motionless. They might have been Game sprites or they might have been statues; it was hard to tell. Val started to wander around the hall, peering at them.   
"Character selection chamber," said Matrix.   
Bob nodded. "Well, it doesn't look like a fight Game. I'm guessing RPG." He raised his left arm. "Glitch—stats." He examined the readout and smiled. "I was right. Role-playing Game, mythological setting. Right now we're in the hall of the gods on Mount Olympus. The object is to get one of the golden apples of the Hesperides."   
"Hesperides?" asked Enzo, perplexed.   
"Sounds like asparagus," observed Val, wrinkling her nose.   
"It's the garden of the queen of the gods," explained Bob.   
"Cool," said Val. "Eep!"   
The others turned to look at her. She had reached the two thrones at the end of the hall opposite the arch. A golden haze surrounded the one on the left. As they watched, the haze winked out and the throne's occupant stood up. It was male, middle-aged but in good shape, with curly tawny hair and beard and peach skin. (For some reason, those Game sprites and Users that were shaped like data sprites were almost invariably peach; AndrAIa was typical in this respect. Those that weren't peach were usually some shade of brown. They were nice colours, of course, but it did get a bit monotonous.) Taking no notice of them, the User walked briskly out through the arch, turned left and disappeared from view.   
"Looks like it's starting," said Bob. "Well, then—reboot!" He double-clicked his icon. The others followed suit. Cyan light rose and green light descended, there was a moment of disorientation, and Bob found that he was now sitting on one of the thrones.   
He examined his new apparel: he was wearing a short-sleeved yellow robe with fine gold embroidery on the hem and sleeves, and sandals of gilded leather. The outfit did not include vambraces, and he experienced a brief moment of panic before finding Glitch, now entirely gold, hanging from a chain round his neck. There was a golden lyre on his lap.   
Next he turned his attention to the rest of the party. Matrix and Enzo were in the opposite row, three seats apart. Matrix had on light bronze armour: a breastplate and backplate, greaves, a skirt of overlapping metal plates, and a helm with a rather silly red brush on top. A red tunic showed through the gaps in the armour. There was a scabbard attached to his belt and a large round shield leaning against his throne. Matrix looked at himself and nodded approvingly.   
Enzo was dressed in a blue tunic, a red cape, and a golden cap with a narrow brim. A pair of golden wings adorned the sides of the cap, and a similar pair was attached to each sandal. He held a golden wand (gosh, there was a lot of gold here) with an oddly-shaped end, like an 8 with the very top cut off. As Bob watched, the wings on Enzo's cap and sandals started to flap, lifting the startled child several inches off his throne.   
Chuckling, Bob turned to Val, who was seated immediately to his left. She wore a knee-length white chiton, cinched at the waist with a silver cord. There was a silver bow in her hand and a quiver of arrows on her back. She also wore a silver circlet decorated with an upturned crescent, and…   
"Hey!" said Enzo. "You've switched hair!"   
Indeed, Val's ponytail was now pure silver, and in it Bob could see the gold of his own hair reflected. Val giggled. "It suits you."   
"You don't look half bad yourself. Now let's see what we've got." He raised the keytool-amulet. "Glitch—character info." A list appeared. "Okay, Matrix, you're the god of war. Pretty straightforward." Matrix nodded.   
"Enzo, you're the herald of the gods. You can fly," he told the colourful speck zipping madly about the ceiling, "and your wand fires energy bolts.   
"Val, you're the goddess of the moon and the hunt. Besides your arrows, you can also shoot moonbeams. They cause insanity."   
"Ah, yes, my specialty," said Val, smiling serenely.   
"Yes, but the effects are unpredictable, so you'd better keep that as a last resort," said Bob with mock sternness. He returned his attention to Glitch. "I'm the god of the sun, music and healing. I can create light and play healing music on my lyre."   
"Groovy," opined Val. "Well, let's go, then." She jogged over to the archway and stopped short. "Um… guys? We seem to be out of ground."   
They joined her and looked down. It took a moment and a bit of craning to realise that the hall was _not_, in fact, floating unsupported several miles above the ground. It was simply built on a precipice so steep that it actually sloped away backwards. Directly outside there was nothing but air and, a yard away, broad, flat, and slightly translucent, the apex of a rainbow. They stared at it, comprehension dawning. Then Enzo fluttered out to the rainbow, landed on it, and stomped a few times. "It's fine."   
"Well, which way should we go?" said Val brightly. "The User went left."   
Bob shrugged. "Your call."   
"Right, then. There's only one garden, so the paths'll have to converge eventually." She jumped onto the rainbow, walked a few steps to the right, sat down, and pushed herself forward. "Wheeeee!" came her Doppler-distorted cry as she disappeared over the bend. With an enthusiastic whoop, Enzo followed her. Bob and Matrix stepped out and did likewise.   
The rainbow was hard and glassy, and it curved slightly upwards at the sides so they wouldn't fall off. It was really quite pleasant, and the view was nice. Looping his lyre around one shoulder, clasping his hands behind his head, Bob lay back to enjoy the ride. 

They landed in a sunny glade in the middle of a sparse forest. There was only one obvious path leading away from the clearing, so this they followed. The others tactfully let Bob set the pace, for which he was profoundly grateful.   
It was a very nice forest, full of birdsong and flowers and with a cheerful, tinkly soundtrack. Val soon started skipping and whistling along with the music.   
"Cut that out," commanded Matrix.   
"Aw, c'mon, big guy. Live a little!"   
"He's right, Val," said Bob quickly, noticing the look on Matrix's face. "You're a stealthy huntress, silent as the moon! Get in character, why don'tcha?"   
"Oh! Okay!" She went into an exaggerated tiptoe.   
Bob smothered a laugh. "Enzo."   
"Yeah, Bob?" said Enzo, alighting on a tree branch.   
"Since I'm slowing us down anyway, why don't you fly on ahead and scout?"   
"Sure thing!" He took off.   
The three older sprites walked in silence for a nanosecond. Then Val asked, "What do you think there'll be? Wild animals?"   
Matrix laughed humourlessly. "In this setting? If there are any, they'll have at least three heads."   
"Oh. What, then?"   
"I dunno," said Bob, "but I'm sure it'll be weird."   
"Oh, good," said Val happily.   
"Bob!" called Enzo, appearing around a bend in the path. "There's another clearing ahead, with a Game sprite in it. A big one. It saw me," he added.   
Bob frowned. "Are you sure?"   
Enzo nodded. "Trust me." 

It was a big one, a head taller than Matrix and built on similar lines, but Bob hardly noticed that at first. His attention was too taken up by its eyes. It had rather more of them than most sprites. In fact, its entire body was covered with them.   
"This is different," observed Bob.   
Val nodded in satisfaction. "You were right, Bobby. It's weird."   
"So what do we do?" asked Enzo.   
Bob considered. "Matrix, think you can take him by yourself? Matrix?"   
Matrix didn't reply. He was staring open-mouthed at the Game sprite. His breathing had turned rapid and shallow, and his mechanical eye was humming loudly. His companions stared at him in consternation.   
"Is he all right?" whispered Val.   
"Hey! Snap out of it!" Enzo went to hover in front of him, but he seemed to be staring straight through the small sprite—which he probably was.   
"Matrix!" shouted Bob. "Matrix! _Enzo!_"   
"Uhh?" gasped Matrix, turning to Bob with a look of panic on his face.   
"Look, Matrix, why don't you wait over there for just a pico?" suggested Bob. Matrix nodded blankly and mooched back down the path. Bob turned to Val and Enzo. "This is bad."   
"Very bad," agreed Enzo.   
"Well… we've got weapons," said Val.   
"He looks pretty tough, though. No offence, but I doubt you two could handle him, and I'm still too tired to fight."   
"Maybe we don't need to fight him," suggested Enzo. "He hasn't attacked us yet. Maybe he's a passive."   
"Maybe, but we can't tell without getting closer."   
"I'll check, then. I'm fastest. Val, cover me." Val nodded and drew an arrow from her quiver. Very slowly, Enzo flew forward into the clearing.   
The Game sprite did nothing until Enzo was about a quarter of the way in. Then it raised its fists and strode forward determinedly. Enzo hurriedly back-pedalled; the monster halted.   
"That settles it," said Bob. "Definitely a defensive. We'll have to get past him somehow, and we can't fight him." They lapsed into thoughtful silence, waiting for one of them to have a flash of insight.   
Flash—that was it! "I've got an idea," said Bob, "but we'll need to move fast. Matrix!"   
"What?" demanded Matrix without facing Bob. He had recovered from his stupor and was slashing angrily at the air with his sword.   
"We're going to have to run. I need you to carry me, but on your back this time, okay?"   
"Uh… sure. I guess," said Matrix, his brow creasing as perplexity displaced fury.   
"Good. Let's get in position." Matrix approached, keeping his eye fixed resolutely on the trees, and crouched down. Bob climbed onto him and gripped his shoulders firmly. "Now, when I say go, cross the clearing. Keep to the side. Don't look at the Game sprite, and don't look at me. Kids, you go in front. Whatever you do, _don't look back_. Ready… GO!"   
They charged into the clearing. Bob watched the Game sprite carefully and, the instant it began to move, he summoned all the Game-power at his disposal and started glowing. The light was dim at first but grew steadily brighter until Bob blazed like a newly-opened tear. The monster bellowed and shut all its eyes tight. While it stumbled blindly, the party raced across the clearing and pounded down the path, not stopping until they could no longer hear the Game sprite's screams.   
Finally, as Matrix rounded another bend, Bob released the light and declared, "That's far enough. Take 101, everybody." He dropped to the ground.   
Val whirled around, beaming. "Great job, Brown-Eyes! What a bright idea!"   
"Thanks, I…" He stopped and narrowed his eyes. Val's face was all innocence. "Hmm."   
Val looked past Bob to Matrix, who was studiously ignoring them. She frowned. "Matrix, are you—?"   
"_Shhh!_" hissed Bob.   
"But I—"   
He shook his head and mouthed the word "ixnay" at her.   
Enzo flew over and whispered in her ear, "We'll explain later."   
Val paused, then shrugged. "Well, that was interesting. What's next?"   
Bob looked down the path. "That, I guess."   
The building, or such of it as was visible, was of dark, rough-hewn stone, unornamented. There was only one storey, but it was impossible to tell how large the building was, for the wall soon vanished into the trees on either side. The doors were plain wooden rectangles, and had no handles on the outside.   
Bob examined the door and frame. There weren't any obvious traps. He pushed. The door didn't move. "It's stuck. Matrix, you give it a try."   
Matrix strode forward, placed his hands against the door, and shoved. He stepped back and shook his head. "Feels more like a wall than a door. There's no give at all. We'll have to find another way."   
Bob ran through the usual options. "Well, we don't need to find a key, because there's no keyhole… maybe a hidden lever?"   
"What're these symbols?" asked Enzo from overhead. They looked up. He was examining the lintel of the door. There was an inscription on it:   
[Author's Note: I made a graphic of the inscription, which should go here. Unfortunately, FanFiction.net restricts the types of HTML tag that may be included in a fic page, so I can't show the graphic here. Therefore, for this sequence to make sense, please go to http://members.aol.com/vacko6/crypto1.gif. Thank you.]   
"Huh," said Bob. "Looks like some sort of code…"   
"_Step aside, boys!_"   
Val shoved forward, her eyes shining. She craned her neck, then went up on tiptoe. With Enzo airborne, she was for practical purposes the shortest one present. Extending a hand but not turning her head, she said in an imperious tone, "Matrix, a lift."   
Matrix scowled, but when Bob nodded he complied. Perched on his shoulders, Val leaned forward, was silent for a moment, and then started counting under her breath.   
"What are you—?" began Enzo.   
"Shh!" said Val and continued counting. Then she nodded in satisfaction, reached out, tapped the third symbol, and said very deliberately, "E."   
The inscription shimmered and changed:   
[http://members.aol.com/vacko6/crypto2.gif]   
Val paused for a moment, then tapped the first two symbols: "T-H."   
[http://members.aol.com/vacko6/crypto3.gif]   
Next came O, then Y, and then U and R together. Sometimes she would pause and mumble to herself, then resume tapping. In less than two nanoseconds it was done: 

THE KEY TO SUCCESS IS   
TO KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL   
AND TAKE THE BULL BY THE HORNS

"Wow," breathed Enzo, gaping at Val.   
"Thanks, big guy," said Val as Matrix lowered her to the ground. "What does it mean, anyway?"   
"I'm not sure," said Bob, "but it reminds me of Dot."   
Before Val could make an embarrassing comment, the doors creaked open. She grinned, widely and without a trace of modesty, and sauntered forward. Enzo fluttered after her, awestruck.   
As Bob started forward, Matrix grabbed his arm. "Bob…" He paused. "Thanks."   
Bob smiled. "C'mon," he said. "Let's get in there before they get in trouble. I think someone's got a bit of a crush," he added.   
Matrix raised a scarred eyebrow. "You really think she's our type?" They exchanged a grin and entered.   
It was very dark inside, which Bob hastened to remedy. The light revealed a smallish square chamber, with a packed earth floor and walls of the same dull stone as the building's exterior. There was a statue, again made of the same stone, in the centre of the room. Each of the interior walls had a wide passage leading away.   
Bob had a sudden sinking feeling. "Uh-oh," he said. He extended a hand and directed a beam of light down one passage, then another. Each had several more corridors branching off of it before it turned. "I was afraid of this. It's a maze."   
"What do we do, then?" asked Val.   
He shrugged. "Pick a wall and follow it. It's slow, but there's no map."   
"What about the cryptogram? Could that have been a clue?"   
"If it was, it wasn't very helpful. I can't make heads or tails of it."   
"Nor I. Pity." She ambled over to look at the statue. It seemed to be of a king, carved to scale or very nearly, standing on a wide plinth about a foot high. The stone was worn and pitted and quite dusty. Inscribed on the plinth, faded but still visible, was the word MINOS.   
Val examined the statue keenly, then climbed onto the pedestal so she could see its face. "Hey, guys, look at this! The crown's gold. It's just so dusty you can barely tell." She tried to wipe away some of the dust. She drew back her hand. She rubbed the crown again. "Oh, boys," she said in tones of badly-hidden glee, "I think I've found something." She glanced around to make sure everyone was looking, then grabbed a spike on the crown and spun the gold ring in a full circle.   
Beneath her, a hidden drawer in the plinth slid open.   
"All right Val!" exclaimed Bob, bending down to examine the drawer's contents. His happiness turned to bemusement as he reached in and pulled out a large ball of white string.   
"That's _it_?" said Matrix disdainfully.   
"'Keep your eye on the ball,'" quoted Bob. "Well, it must be good for something… but what?" He started tossing it in the air and catching it while he pondered.   
"Maybe we can unroll it to show where we've been?" suggested Enzo.   
"Probably. That'd be _some_ help, but it's still not much better than just following walls. Whoops," he added, missing the ball on the way down. It landed and began to roll across the floor.   
Val stared at the ball, then hopped down from the plinth and picked it up. She rolled it back towards Bob. Almost immediately, it slowed to a halt and started rolling back the way it had come. She grabbed it again and tried rolling it to the side; it turned sharply. After a moment's consideration, she found the end of the string, held it, and dropped the ball once more. It resumed rolling, and this time the string unrolled behind it. Val pounced on it and straightened up, grinning ridiculously.   
"So _that's_ what it meant," Bob said with satisfaction as Val tied the end of the string to the statue's ankle. "Okay, gang, be careful. Stick close together and watch out for traps. Enzo, come down here and walk in front in case of pits. Everyone else, keep an eye on the walls and ceiling. Weapons at the ready… is this thing in tune?" He plucked at the lyre. "All right, let's go. Stay frosty."   
Val dropped the ball and they set off after it down the right-hand corridor. It led them past the first side passage and took them left at the next. They proceeded slowly and cautiously, and the ball itself was soon out of sight, but the string path remained to show them the way.   
"Val?" asked Enzo.   
"Yeah?"   
"How'd you figure out what the ball was doing? Tripwire ahead," he added, flying over it.   
"Well, I wasn't really thinking about it," said Val, stepping carefully over the wire. "It was just a hunch. But I guess it's because it was rolling too well. I mean, feel this floor. It's totally uneven. The ball should have stopped right away, and it certainly shouldn't have rolled in such a straight line."   
"Oh. Well, how'd you break that code all in your head?"   
"Oh, that's simple! It's all just patterns."   
"Patterns?"   
"Everyone duck," ordered Matrix.   
"Sure," said Val as a huge axe passed overhead. "Like, if one symbol occurs more than any other, it's probably E, or maybe T. If it also ends a three-letter word that turns up a lot, it's pretty sure to be E, and the word is THE. Patterns. If the message had contained the word 'people,'" she added, firing an arrow down the corridor and triggering a fall of rocks from the ceiling, "I wouldn't even have needed to count."   
"Alphanumeric! Whoops!" The floor collapsed beneath him. He dropped about a foot before his cap and sandals caught him.   
"What happens if the string runs out?" asked Matrix, edging along the foot-wide area of floor that was left next to the wall.   
"It shouldn't," Bob assured him.   
"But what if it does?"   
Bob shrugged. "Then we're back to following walls."   
Matrix sighed. "That's what I thought."   
They followed the string right and left, across spike-filled pits and past arrow-shooting walls. Bob listened to the youngsters' chatter with amusement and even humoured them when they started a game of "Are We There Yet?" until he noticed Matrix fingering the hilt of his sword. Despite his lingering fatigue and the pressure of the Game, he was feeling remarkably cheerful. In fact, he hadn't felt quite like this since before the Web.   
There was something very relaxing about Val. Well, okay, he corrected himself, maybe "relaxing" wasn't the right word. It was the way she never took anything seriously, least of all herself; it made it hard for him to take things quite so seriously either. Val took the edge off life.   
The others had stopped. Bob came out of his thoughts and looked at the floor. They had come to the end of the string. It stopped just short of a bend in the passage.   
"Looks like we've reached the end of the line," remarked Val.   
Bob shot her a look. "That was deliberate," he said accusingly.   
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she declared.   
"Suuure you don't. I bet you've been waiting to say that since we started following—"   
"What's that noise?" asked Enzo.   
They fell silent. From around the corner came a snuffling and a shuffling. Bob and Matrix looked at each other and narrowed their eyes. Matrix drew his sword. Enzo gripped his wand more firmly. Val nocked an arrow. Then they rounded the corner.   
This room was the same size and shape as the entrance chamber, but it had only one other door, on the far side. The floor was strewn with straw and, although the entire building was floored with packed dirt, this floor somehow contrived to be even dirtier than the rest. The room was otherwise empty, except for (surprise, surprise!) a Game sprite. It was as large and muscular as the first one, but had only the normal complement of eyes. Instead, it was covered in fine brown fur and had the head, tail, and hind hooves of a bull. As soon as it saw them, it bellowed and charged.   
So did Matrix. He ran forward and swung his sword. The creature veered aside at the last picosecond, then turned and aimed a punch at Matrix's head; Matrix ducked and raised his shield. The two combatants drew back and began to circle slowly.   
The rest of the party watched with excitement and anxiety. Occasionally there would be a brief flurry of activity, accompanied by clangs as fist hit shield or sword caught on horns. Then the circling would resume.   
"What is it, anyway?" asked Val.   
"Minotaur!" shouted Matrix, jabbing at the Game sprite's shoulder. It twisted away from the blow. "I should have guessed from the name on that statue."   
Then the minotaur darted forward and left, swinging its head at Matrix's unprotected right arm. Matrix drew back an instant too late. He winced and looked at the line of bright blue trickling down his arm. The monster had drawn first energy.   
"Hey!" cried Enzo. "You can't do that to me!" He launched himself into the air and rocketed straight at the Game sprite.   
"Enzo, no!" Bob shouted in alarm. Enzo waved cheerfully at Bob, then turned the wave into a resounding smack as he passed directly behind the minotaur's head. The minotaur roared and tried to swat this overgrown fly. Taking advantage of its distraction, Matrix moved in and stabbed it in the side—not deeply, for its hide was extraordinarily tough, but nevertheless, it was a hit.   
"All _right_!" cheered Val, punching the air.   
Enzo turned around and started whizzing back and forth past the minotaur, always staying just out of reach. "Hey!" he said, zooming past. "What's the matter?" _zoom_ "Am" _zoom_ "I" _zoom_ "bugging" _zoom_ "you?" The Game sprite turned its head this way and that, trying to keep both opponents in view at once. It wasn't entirely successful, and Matrix stabbed it several more times. Unfortunately, this only seemed to anger the beast.   
"This isn't working!" Matrix yelled in frustration. "Its skin is too thick!" He hastily sheathed his sword and punched the monster hard in the stomach. When it bent over slightly, he grabbed its left horn and started slamming it in the face with his shield.   
Enzo watched this for a moment. Then his eyes grew very wide. He flew to the right-hand wall and used his wand to blast two small holes in the rock, side by side. Sticking his wand in his belt, he pulled off his cape.   
Just then, with a roar, the minotaur tore free of Matrix. It looked considerably dazed, but it was still prepared to fight. Before it could attack again, Enzo returned to hover beside Matrix. He raised his cape and gave it a shake.   
The minotaur froze and snorted.   
Grinning, Enzo held the cape out beside him and waved it. The minotaur snorted louder and pawed the ground. Enzo waved the cape a third time. As the minotaur ran at him, he whirled aside, soared into the air, and descended across the room, where he shook the cape again. The Game sprite chased after him. Matrix was completely forgotten.   
Bob watched, stunned, as Enzo whizzed about the room, whooping and catcalling, leading the minotaur on a merry chase. The Game sprite was getting furious, and the chase went faster and faster. After about a dozen rounds of this, and when it seemed impossible for the minotaur to get any angrier, Enzo somersaulted across the room and held his cape directly in front of the holes in the wall. Faster than ever, the minotaur lowered its head and charged at the cape. At the last possible picosecond, when it was too late for the minotaur to turn, Enzo pulled away.   
With a thud, the minotaur ran headfirst into the wall. It paused for a moment in this odd position, and then began screaming with rage and trying desperately to pull its horns out of the holes, in which they were stuck fast.   
Enzo donned his cape and turned to face the party, looking rather smug.   
"Way to go, Enzo!" cheered Val.   
Slowly, Matrix smiled. "Good job, kid."   
Enzo beamed at this rare compliment. "Thanks! C'mon!" he said, heading for the door.   
As they crossed the room, Val veered aside and approached the struggling minotaur. "We're really sorry about this," she told it. Then she rejoined her companions, leaving behind a very puzzled Game sprite.   
Beyond the door was a room larger than the last, although it was so cluttered it seemed smaller. It appeared to be a workshop of some kind. Tools and materials were piled on every surface, including the floor. One table was covered with astronomical charts; on another were various pieces of rock, arranged in neat rows. Kites and dried plants hung from the ceiling. There was a huge pile of feathers in one corner, and an even bigger pile of clay in the next. There were blueprints and models. There was even a small forge. There was not, however, another door.   
There _was_ a very large window with no glass in it. Bob let his light go out, there being adequate sunlight coming in already. "That must be the way out."   
Enzo flew over the mess and reached the window first. "Uh-oh. We're out of ground again."   
Bob stepped over a foot-high wooden cow and looked out the window. There was a several-storey drop to a narrow strip of beach, followed by a wide expanse of sea, much too far to swim.   
"And not a rainbow in sight," said Matrix, joining them.   
"Well, there has to be a way out of here," said Val, who was idly tracing a smiley face in the surface of the clay.   
Bob and Matrix exchanged glances. "Room search?" said Bob.   
"Room search," agreed Matrix. "But first, could you, ah…" He indicated his right arm, which had stopped bleeding but was slightly translucent.   
"Oh! Right!" Bob raised his lyre and plucked experimentally at it. "Never played one of these before. I'm really more of a guitarist."   
"Well, at least it's a six-string," remarked Val. "Lyres can have anywhere from three to ten."   
Bob grinned at the two Enzos, who were looking at Val with identical expressions of befuddlement. "Val has transfinite reserves of useless trivia. Okay, Matrix, say when." He considered for a moment, then began to play a modified version of the guitar solo from "Sympathy For The Virus".   
About halfway through, Matrix nodded. "I think that's enough. Thanks." He flexed his arm, now completely opaque, and grimaced. "Healing spells always itch. All right, let's get to it."   
They started examining the sundry items littering the room, lifting things up and peering into corners to make sure they didn't overlook anything. Enzo flew up to check the stuff on the ceiling. Val found a pile of diagrams and started leafing through them.   
After several nanos, Matrix said, "Oh, _no_. You've gotta be kiddin' me."   
"Found something?" Bob asked, sticking his head out from under a table.   
In response, Matrix held up part of what they had taken for a pile of feathers. Thus spread out, they could see that the feathers were in fact attached to a wooden framework to form huge wings.   
"Oh, pixelacious!" exclaimed Val, running over to examine the wings. "Are these held together with wax? Weird. Now, how do you put these on?"   
"What about Bob?" asked Enzo as Val and Matrix helped each other with their wings. "Flying that way looks tiring."   
"Not to worry," replied Bob, "I've got it covered." He removed the chain from his neck and wrapped it around his hand. Then he leaned out the window and extended his arm. "Glitch—rotor!"   
Nothing happened for a moment, and then the keytool spun its gearwheel and emitted a warbling hum.   
Bob pulled his hand back and straightened up. "What?"   
Spin, hum.   
"What do you mean, anachronistic?" he demanded indignantly.   
Hum, spin, hum.   
"Oh, don't give me that!"   
Spin, _spin_, hum, spin.   
"Well, _you_ think of something, then!" He rolled his eyes and muttered to Val, whose shoulders were shaking, "He's been like this ever since we split."   
Glitch made a rude noise. Then it slid its chain off of Bob's hand and floated out the window. The gearwheel divided into two layers that slid apart and moved to the sides of the box, which began to grow. In a matter of picoseconds, Glitch had become a golden chariot, just big enough for one, harnessed to four golden horses, resting easily on the air.   
They all stared in silence for a moment. Then Bob nodded and declared, "I am impressed."   
The chariot's wheels spun. One of the horses gave a whinny that sounded suspiciously like a snigger. 


	5. In which wax wings do double duty

It was a pleasantly uneventful flight. The Glitch-chariot was a very smooth ride; Bob leaned his elbows on the front of the chariot and watched indulgently as the children played tag and tried to imitate the cries of the occasional hawks they passed.   
As they neared the other side of the sea, the land ahead resolved itself into low cliffs. Closer still, they could see a pass through the cliffs: the continuation of the path.   
"Is that the other path over there?" asked Val, squinting off to the right.   
Bob followed her gaze. "I think you're right. And they meet… there. Any sign of the User?" he added, but without much hope, since from this distance the path was little more than a faint line.   
Matrix, however, nodded. "I see him. Looks like we're ahead of him, but just barely. I think we'd better pick up the pace." He flapped his arms furiously. Val and Enzo streaked after him. The horses began to gallop.   
"You know, this is pretty fast," said Val. "Maybe we should just fly the rest of the way."   
Bob shook his head. "Nice idea, but I doubt the Game will let us." Sure enough, the nearer they got to the shore, the lower Matrix and Val found themselves flying. They would have to land.   
They did so. The wings were left to lie on the beach, Glitch resumed its station around Bob's neck, and the quartet proceeded down the dusty path between the cliffs. They moved at a rather better pace than before, for the restful chariot ride, together with the slight adrenal effect of being in a Game, had relieved Bob's fatigue considerably.   
"There's a rock in my sandal," complained Val.   
"So?" said Bob. "They're sandals. Just shake it out."   
"Yeah, but they _keep_ getting in. Dust, too. I definitely prefer boots. Stuff doesn't get—"   
"Everyone stop and turn around right now," said Matrix in a soft but urgent voice.   
Startled, they complied. Matrix had already suited deed to word. "What's up?" Val asked his back.   
"Take a look at some of these rocks," he replied grimly. They took a look. Bob had a sudden feeling of déjà vu.   
"Statues of animals?" said Enzo. "Random!"   
"Well, whoever made them certainly did a good job," Val remarked, picking up a granite squirrel.   
"A little too good," agreed Matrix. He was holding his shield up by the edges and tilting it this way and that, peering at it intently.   
"What are you doing?" Val enquired.   
"You've got your patterns, I've got mine," he answered, not taking his eyes off the shield. "And this pattern means we've got either a basilisk or… ah. There she is," he said with grim satisfaction. "A gorgon. Just what we needed," he added sourly. "Least this one doesn't have wings."   
"What's a gorgon?" asked Enzo.   
"_That._" His golden eye swivelled into position and projected a dim red (\/) onto the inner surface of the shield. It traced a circle around a distant figure reflected in the polished bronze. "Don't look at her, just the reflection." At that distance, using a concave bronze mirror, it was hard to see clearly, but Bob could make out the shape of a woman sitting on a boulder by the mouth of a cave.   
"Gorgons have brass claws and scales," explained Matrix, "but they don't usually need 'em, because anyone or anything who looks at a gorgon gets turned into stone." He sighed. "This is really gonna set us back."   
"But you can beat her, right?" said Val.   
"Yeah, I can beat her, but it'll take a while," he said in tones of extreme irritation. "Have you _ever_ tried to fight over your shoulder? Or aim in a curved mirror?"   
"Oh. I see what you mean." She peered at the reflection. "Why is her hair moving like that?"   
"Snakes."   
"Snakes?"   
"Yeah. Gorgons have snakes for hair. Go figure."   
"Users are weird," said Enzo.   
Bob smirked. "No argument there."   
"These snakes…" said Val slowly. "Anything special about them, or are they just normal, everysecond snakes? Apart from being attached to a Game sprite's head."   
"They're just snakes," said Matrix.   
"Hmm," said Val, and fell silent.   
"My arms are still tired from flying, too," muttered Matrix. "Great." He propped his shield against a boulder, adjusted its angle so it continued to reflect the gorgon, and began a series of upper-body stretches.   
"Hang on," said Val. "How intelligent are gorgons, would you say? Sapient?"   
"Yeah, or nearly," said Matrix, straightening up and bending the other way. "They're no AIs, but…"   
"Good enough," interrupted Val. "Spriteling, think you could fly as well if you were carrying some extra weight?"   
"Sure, why?"   
Val smiled. "I've got a job for you. Follow me; I'll explain on the way. Bobby, when we come back, stop us before we crash into you." She ran back the way they had come, with Enzo in tow.   
"What's she up to now?" asked Matrix.   
"I dunno, but it'll be no use asking her until she's done. She likes to show off."   
"I'd noticed."   
Barely a nanosecond later, Val and Enzo returned. Each was carrying one of the discarded pairs of wings. They were holding them in front of their faces so that they could see nothing but the path just ahead. "That's close enough," said Bob when they were a couple of metres away.   
"Hey," said Val. She and Enzo turned around and dropped their burdens. "Okay, spriteling, let's get you into costume." Enzo obligingly removed his cape.   
"Costume?" said Matrix. "What are you _doing_?"   
"Saving time." She smiled winsomely at Matrix, then helped the scowling sprite's counterpart into one set of wings. While Enzo flapped his arms curiously, she crouched down and peeled the wax and feathers away from the other set's framework. Dividing the wax into several sections, she affixed the largest onto Enzo's cape, which she then tucked into the back of his belt. Another section was moulded to fit over his cap and come down in front in a sort of beak-shape, effectively obstructing his vision. The remainder of the feathers she stuck haphazardly all over his tunic.   
Val stepped back to survey her handiwork. Winged, tailed, and feathered, Enzo now looked like… well, frankly, like a small sprite attempting to look like a very large bird and not succeeding particularly well. "Perfect," Val proclaimed. She crossed to where Matrix had propped his shield and picked it up. "User, this thing's heavy. All right, birdbrain, up you go."   
"Yes ma'am!" With a deafening screech, he shot into the air and flew in the general direction of the gorgon.   
Bob was horrified. "Val, what in the Web are you playing at?" he demanded.   
"Not now, Bobby." She tilted the shield to get a clear view of both Enzo and the Game sprite. "Bear left!" she shouted. "Up a bit… wide circle… now screech and dive! More… more… pull up! Circle again… more right…"   
"What do you think you're doing?" hissed Matrix angrily. "You'll give away our position!"   
Val grinned. "Oh, I'm counting on it." While the men gaped at her, she continued calling out directions to Enzo, keeping him above the gorgon as he swooped, circled, and screeched in his very best hawk impression. The gorgon swiped at him with her brass claws, but Val made sure he never got quite within reach.   
As Matrix had surmised, the gorgon had risen from her rock and was approaching the source of the shouting. Bob couldn't help feeling that the whole exercise was worse than pointless; even if Enzo had made a remotely realistic bird, Val's shouted instructions gave away the game as well as their location. And he still couldn't see what this charade was meant to accomplish…   
The gorgon was quite near now. Even in the curved shield, Bob could see her face clearly; she was actually rather good-looking, in a sharp-featured sort of way, and he had seen far stranger things in the Web than scales and snakes. The snakes, he noticed, were thrashing around madly and snapping at each other.   
"That's enough, Enzo! Pull up and stay up!" With that, Val fell silent, but the gorgon must have seen them long ago. She continued to march toward them, apparently in a foul temper. In all fairness, Bob couldn't blame her.   
Val was staring at the Game sprite's reflection with great intensity and nodding slightly in time with her footfalls. She stayed like this until the gorgon was only two paces away. Then she whispered, "Get ready to run if this doesn't work," and, before they could react, hoisted the shield, closed her eyes, and spun around.   
It took all Bob's strength of will to keep from doing likewise; that would help nobody! Before he could come up with anything else, though, he heard a gasp, a wail of anguish, and the patter of running feet receding into the distance. Then there was a grinding noise, as of stone scraping against stone. Then, silence.   
Val turned back around and checked the shield. "All clear, Enzo!" She handed the shield back to Matrix and turned once more, flexing her fingers and shaking her arms.   
Bob whirled to face her. The gorgon was nowhere in sight, but the boulder on which she had been sitting was now blocking the mouth of the cave. "All right, Val! You've had your fun. Now _what_ was all that about?"   
"Well, Matrix _said_ it would take too long to fight her," Val said innocently. "So I got rid of her."   
"But _how_?" howled Bob. "How does Enzo pretending to be a bird get rid of a gorgon?"   
Val leaned against the rock wall to the left of the path. "Three simple principles. One," she said, ticking the simple principles off on her fingers, "hawks are predators. Two, gorgons may be smart, but snakes are pretty basic. And three…" She grinned. "_No one_ likes to have a bad hair day."   
And she sauntered over to help Enzo out of his costume, leaving the two older males to puzzle this out. 


	6. In which we learn a new word

The path wound upwards through the rocks, towards the top of the plateau. The younger half of the party skipped and flitted on ahead, still enthused by their ploy's success. Bob followed after, every nerve in his body twanging; Matrix brought up the rear.   
"That was pixelacious!" Enzo was saying. "I wish I could have seen it!"   
"That would have kind of defeated the purpose, wouldn't it, spriteling? Hoo-whee, what a kluge that was!"   
"Kluge?"   
Kluges, Bob thought. Val had always been fond of them. Schemes that worked for reasons which weren't readily apparent, or were extremely convoluted, or patently absurd, or not even intentional. Val to a tee.   
The problem was, kluges were often crocks, and thus extremely risky. When success depended on everything being just so, any unexpected change could crash the whole plan. Kluges were lots of fun to hear about, but anyone relying on one was taking a terrible chance.   
What had Val said? "Get ready to run if this doesn't work." _If._ She hadn't even been _sure_! His charge had almost been turned to stone because of…   
"Bob?" His head snapped around. Matrix had drawn level with him and was looking at him with a concerned expression. "You okay?"   
"Yeah," lied Bob. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little bit on edge."   
Matrix didn't look convinced. "Bob. Relax. It worked. We're past."   
"Enzo, she nearly got—"   
"But she _didn't_. We're getting through the Game, and that's the important thing."   
Bob rubbed his forehead. "I should have known she'd pull a kluge like that."   
Matrix gave a bark of laughter. "You call that a kluge? Didn't I ever tell you about the Games I played against Rocky the Rabid Raccoon? I pulled some kluges you wouldn't _believe_. At least Val had some idea hers would work." He laid an immense hand on Bob's shoulder. "You know, Bob… she may be annoying, but Val's going to make a terrific Guardian someday."   
"What makes you say that?" asked Bob, a bit surprised.   
"Because that stunt was exactly the sort of thing you would do." Matrix smiled at the various expressions that passed across Bob's face as he sought for a reasonable response to this statement. "C'mon, Bob. She's a Guardian, and a smart kid, and she's _your_ cousin. She can look after herself."   
"I guess you're right. I'm just too used to taking the risks myself, so no one else'll have to."   
"And when Val graduates, she'll be doing the same thing. Might as well let her start now, right?"   
"Right." Bob grinned. "You know, I never thought I'd see the second when _you_ told _me_ to relax."   
"Me neither, but you needed it. Tell you what, you cheer up and I'll go back to firing at shadows, deal?"   
"Deal." They shook hands with mock solemnity.   
The children had gotten considerably ahead of them during this heart-to-heart; they were just coming out onto the top of the plateau, which seemed to be mostly rolling meadows, dotted with small olive groves. Bob strode briskly forward to catch up, and then paused as something on the path beyond them caught his eye. "Speaking of shadows…" He looked up. "Above you!" he yelled as the first bird plummeted towards them.   
The children glanced upwards, yelped, and darted aside before their attacker could hit them, but more of the oddly shiny birds were already beginning to dive. While Matrix charged forwards, sword drawn, and Bob jogged after him, hoping for one of the sudden bursts of inspiration that always served him in such good stead, Val and Enzo dodged birds and headed for the nearest clump of trees.   
These birds did not look like hawks. They did not look like any particular type of bird that Bob knew of. They looked… they looked like the avian equivalent of the four golden horses that had been harnessed to the Glitch-chariot, vaguely mechanical and distinctly metallic.   
Val, reaching the edge of the grove, stopped and drew an arrow from her quiver. Taking careful aim, she fired it at the nearest bird. It hit the brazen feathers with a hollow ring and ricocheted off. Val gaped and retreated into the safety of the trees.   
Metal birds? Maybe Dixon had been right. How was it possible to comprehend the workings of a mind that could come up with something like this?   
Matrix had come within range of the birds' attention. One swooped at him; he waited, sword raised. "I don't think it's gonna work, Matrix!" shouted Val. Sure enough, the sword clattered harmlessly off the bird's armoured feathers, its only effect being to knock the assailant slightly off course. It smacked into Matrix's helm with a noise like a gong and flew away, slightly dazed, to get enough height for another dive.   
Matrix shook his head as though he had data in his ears. His eyes narrowed. He sheathed his sword and raised an enormous fist. Another brass bird was coming at him now; sixteen metres away, eight metres away, four metres, two, one, and Matrix swung. There was a _bong_ even louder than the previous one, and the bird flapped slowly off in no particular (or indeed consistent) direction.   
"Bob!" bellowed Matrix, punching another bird. "Take my shield! Make for the trees!" He took a few steps backward to be as close as possible to the invisible line that marked the edge of the birds' territory. As soon as Bob caught up to him, he thrust the shield at him and returned to the fray, swinging with both fists. Bob raised the shield over his head and hastened to join his young companions as the air filled with their cheers and the clanging of mildly concussed birds.   
For several nanoseconds, Bob used the shield to ferry the children between groves while Matrix continued to put birds out of commission. Bob was getting worried. Matrix didn't seem to be tiring yet, but there were still dozens of birds left and they were simply too stupid to stop attacking.   
"There's too many of them, Bobby," said Val, voicing his own concerns. "This'll take forever."   
"Let me try!" put in Enzo. He threaded his way up through the olive branches. Emerging from the treetops, he aimed his wand at the nearest bird and sent a bolt of blue-white light towards it. It hit with a bright flash and a noise somewhere between a _bang_ and a _zap_. The bird, now significantly less shiny, plummeted to the ground and lay there, smoking and twitching. There was a smell of burning metal.   
"Yeah," said Bob. "That should do it."   
The weight of the shield and the occasional jarring impact as a bird hit it were conspiring to tire his arms, so he waited with Val in a grove while the Enzo Matrices took care of the Game sprites. He tried an olive; being scenery, the olives weren't really programmed for flavour, but they didn't actually taste _bad_, and the cousins amused themselves by having an olive-stone-spitting contest, standing at the edge of the trees and using the stunned birds as targets.   
"That's the last of them, I think," called Matrix. Bob (who was twelve points ahead and feeling rather pleased with himself) emerged from the trees, followed by Val, who was loudly demanding a rematch.   
"—and besides, I didn't hear anything when you said… Matrix!" she said softly, staring at him. "Your hands!"   
Bob followed her gaze. Matrix's knuckles had been lacerated; energy flowed from the numerous cuts and covered his fingers so thickly that hardly any skin could be seen. Matrix quirked an eyebrow and glanced at his hands. "Yeah. Those feathers are sharp."   
"And you didn't _say_ anything?" Val demanded as Bob raised his lyre.   
Matrix gave her a quizzical look. "No."   
Val said nothing but continued to look at him thoughtfully. Two verses of "Sixty-One Seconds A Minute" patched him up and they continued on their way, but for several nanoseconds Val was strangely subdued. 


	7. In which a heck of a lot happens

The path led them through the meadow, across a shallow river and up a steep, tree-studded hill. Bob was getting tired again, and even Val's boundless energy was flagging. "How much further is it?"   
"Good question. Glitch—progress report." He checked the keytool's display and brightened. "This is good. We're on the second-to-last level. Only one more challenge before we reach the garden." Everyone looked very happy to hear this. With strength born of improved morale, Bob strode briskly forward and crested the hill. "Make that two, actually," he corrected himself, spotting the User.   
The paths that had begun atop the rainbow were finally reconverging, about sixteen paces ahead of them. The other path looked to have come up about a third of the way around the hill from them, and the merged trail headed down the gentler slope on the other side. Moving quickly down this trail was a brawny, peach-skinned, curly-bearded figure. "Shoot," Bob added with a sigh.   
"Good idea," chirped Val, and let fly an arrow. Scarcely had it left her bow when the User whirled around and moved his arm in a throwing motion. A jagged bolt of yellow light shot from his hand to intercept the arrow, there was a bright flash and a thunderclap, and the arrow was gone.   
"Oh, dear," said Val.   
"Two can play at that game!" Enzo drew the wand from his belt and flew up for a clearer shot. "Let's see you burn this!" he called, and fired a stream of energy at the User.   
The User threw another lightning bolt, which met the blue-white blast halfway. For an instant, User and child were connected by a blinding chartreuse line. Then there was an unpleasant sizzling noise and both were flung backwards. Enzo smacked into a tree, fell to the ground, and lay still.   
"Enzo!" screamed all three older sprites in near-unison. They ran to the recumbent, flickering sprite. Without looking to see what the others were doing, Bob crouched next to Enzo and started strumming frantically. His colour filled in almost immediately, but it was a full (and very frightening) nanosecond before the small sprite twitched and groaned.   
"Enzo!" Bob said with relief. "Are you okay?" It was a foolish question, but this wasn't the time to come up with a witty remark.   
"Ugh… sort of…" Enzo raised his head and winced.   
"Don't get up yet. Give it another couple verses," said Bob, still playing. Enzo grimaced and nodded.   
"Bobby!" Val whispered anxiously. "The User's getting up!"   
"I take it back," said Bob. "Get up and get behind the tree." He thought for a moment and added, "But not right under it."   
"Here," said Matrix, and picked Enzo up. He deposited his unresisting backup on a thick patch of moss on the other side of the tree, and then peered back around the trunk, muttering about ranged weapons and armour made from copper alloys. Bob followed and did not stop playing for an instant.   
"Bobby?" said Val in a level voice. No one's voice was that level who was feeling at all calm. "The User's continuing down the path. He's moving pretty quickly. Would you say this was an emergency?"   
"Very much so," agreed Bob in a voice every bit as level as Val's.   
"I can't shoot him, Enzo can but not without getting injured himself, you're busy with Enzo, and Matrix won't be able to get near him. I think it's about time for a last resort."   
Bob hesitated only for an instant. Gritting his teeth, he looked up at Val and nodded. "Go for it."   
Val nodded back at him. She wasn't looking at all cheerful now; her face was set and grim. She walked out into the open. Drawing back her empty bowstring, she sighted carefully along nothing at all and fired it at the departing User.   
Something thin and silvery-white flew from the bow. The User spun around and tried to counter it, but even lightning couldn't damage an arrow made of moonlight. The bolt zapped harmlessly past the tree, behind which Val had hastily ducked, and the moonbeam continued unimpeded and struck the User right between the eyes.   
The User stiffened and stood as still as if he had seen a gorgon. The sprites exchanged amazed looks. "Gosh," said Val. "That was lucky. Let's get going before he recovers. You feeling better yet, Enzo?"   
Enzo moved his arms experimentally. "Yeah. Just a little sore still, but I can fly fine. Let's go." He got to his feet a bit stiffly, rose into the air, emerged from the shelter of the tree, and froze as a lightning bolt missed him by inches.   
They stared at the User in horror. The erratic nature of Val's Game-power was becoming apparent. The User had shaken off his initial paralysis and was now walking very quickly in a small circle, hurling lightning in random directions. The group shook off their own paralysis and huddled behind the tree while craters appeared in the scenery.   
"Not good. This is _not good_," Bob screamed over the thunder and scattered explosions.   
"Hey, at least he's not aiming at us anymore!" Val yelled.   
"Oh, yeah! That's a _big_ help!" shouted Matrix.   
"Well, he's not getting any closer to the garden, is he?"   
"Neither are we! How are we supposed to get past him?"   
"M-maybe we could dodge the lightning?" Enzo suggested tremulously. His face was a graphic of utter misery.   
"Maybe, but do you _really_ want to try that?" Bob answered dryly.   
"Well, we can't just wait for the insanity to wear off," Val pointed out. "Then we'll be right back where we started."   
There was a particularly close crack of thunder, and the trunk of the tree split.   
"Looks like we don't have much of a choice," yelled Matrix. "We won't be safe here much longer. On three… one…"   
And then he stopped shouting, because he had been shouting to be heard over the thunder, and the thunder had stopped. They all blinked at each other, surprised but pleased, and peered around the tree.   
The User had, indeed, stopped his random and wanton destruction. He was lying on his back, pointing at clouds and giggling.   
The four sprites looked at the User, and then at each other. Then, without a word being spoken, they ran as fast as they could, past the User and down the gently sloping path. Even when the User was lost first to view and then to hearing, they didn't slow down.   
"Thank the Net it changed so quickly," panted Bob.   
"But who knows what he'll start doing next?" Matrix replied sourly. "Let's hurry up and _finish_ this Game already!"   
"Noooo," retorted Val. "I was gonna say we should sit down and have a picnic."   
Matrix bristled. "Now, look, kid…"   
"Guys! Chill!" called Enzo from above. "I think I see the next Game sprite—and the garden!"   
"Good," said Matrix. "Come on, let's get this over with."   
Three nanos and two bends in the path brought them in sight of the Game sprite, and then they _did_ slow down. The Game sprite looked mostly like a lion, except that it was at least twice as big as any lion had a right to be. Equally oversized wings sprouted from its shoulder blades. Its head was a woman's, with tawny skin and long brown hair. It—she—was crouched in front of a golden gate three times the height of a grown sprite, set in a white marble wall around a circular enclosure. No one had to ask what she was guarding.   
"Sphinx," murmured Matrix. "Don't see many of those."   
"That's probably just as well," said Val.   
"You got that right. Everybody be careful." They approached the sphinx cautiously, watching for any sign of movement. None came, save for an occasional twitch of the tip of her tail.   
"She _must_ have seen us by now," whispered Val. "I think she's a passive."   
"I think you're right," said Bob. "Even a defensive would have attacked by—"   
"Halt!" Startled, they complied. The sphinx looked down her nose at them and said in a resonant contralto: 

"If you seek to pass me by,   
To solve my riddle you must try.   
Should you fail, you'd best stay mum,   
Else my supper you'll become." 

Bob processed this and blinked. "Well, well. A passive-aggressive. This is interesting." Most non-AI Game sprites fell solidly into one of four behavioural categories. Hybrids were unusual, although not unheard-of. Bob was impressed.   
He glanced around at his companions. Matrix's face was impassive. Little Enzo, as usual, seemed to think this latest development was simply too cool for words. And Val… she looked as though she had just watched a system restart from atop the Principal Office subsphere. Her eyes were closed, her grin so broad that Bob's own jaw began to ache in sympathy, and she appeared to be repeating the word "yes" under her breath.   
Bob smirked; Val _would_ react like that. "Okay," he told the sphinx, "let's hear it." The sphinx smiled and recited, 

"Is it not a merry jest?   
Up we lift 'til we are sore,   
Yet, when we have earned our rest,   
Upwards we must go once more." 

Bob listened carefully to the riddle and repeated it several times in his head. Nothing sprang immediately to mind; all he could tell was that the answer was a plural noun. He looked at the others. Matrix and Enzo shrugged. Val's lips were pursed and her brow was furrowed. She was looking around at the scenery, the sphinx, her companions. Searching for visual clues, thought Bob. He emulated her. Trees? he thought. They go up, but they don't really _lift_ up. Besides, trees probably don't get sore, and if they rest, I certainly don't know how to tell the difference. Clouds? They certainly don't get sore. This is a tough one. Bummer.   
He started to pace.   
Birds? Flying for a long time is tiring; Matrix said so. Birds roost in trees, that's up… but it's still down from the sky, so they're not going upwards to rest. What else goes up? Elevators? No, that's totally anachronistic… Acrobats? Now that's just silly…   
"Feet!" shouted Val.   
Bob's head jerked around to stare at his beaming cousin, and then at the sphinx, who rose slowly to her feet and padded off to the left of the gate, leaving the way clear. 

"Since this game of wits you win,   
You've nought to fear but what's within." 

Bob stepped forward, wearing a faintly bemused smile. "Wow, Val! How'd you figure that one out?"   
Val grinned. "You gave me the idea, actually."   
"I did? How'd I do that?"   
"By pacing."   
"Oh. Huh." Bob shrugged, stepped up to the gate, and touched it. It swung open, and the companions entered the garden of the Hesperides.   
Bob whistled loudly. The User who had programmed this Game had outdone Himself. The garden was vast and lush, with dozens of different kinds of flowers, exquisitely manicured hedges, and assorted fruit trees. There was a large fishpond, and assorted statuary, and elaborate topiary creations, and a number of peafowl wandering about the place.   
There were also four larger Game sprites present. Three were datoid—young, female, and lovely, with identical pale peach skins, long curly hair, and slender physiques. They were, in fact, identical in every respect except for the colours of their hair. One, whose hair was light yellow, was watering flowers. Another, with vermilion tresses, was trimming a hedge. The third, whose curls were chestnut brown, was polishing the scales of the _other_ Game sprite.   
It was… a dragon? A hydra? It looked like a dragon, but they didn't usually have more than one head. Even hydrae tended not to have more than nine, at least to start with. _This_ creature had… well, far too many to count, but 128 didn't seem an unreasonable estimate. It had iridescent green scales and long, sinuous necks (so as not to crowd its heads), and it was curled around a tree in the very centre of the garden. The tree was huge; the lowest branches were too high up to even think about reaching. Hanging from the branches were shining golden apples.   
Hearing Bob's whistle, the datoid Game sprites dropped their gardening tools and hurried over, wearing identical expressions of delight. Matrix's hand went to the hilt of his sword, but Bob shook his head; they didn't seem threatening. Although you never could tell.   
"Welcome, cousins!" cried the yellow-haired girl.   
"It's so nice to see you! We get so few visitors," added the brown-haired girl.   
"What brings you here?" asked the orange-haired girl. Their voices were all the same, too. Bob wasn't surprised.   
Well, they certainly seemed harmless enough so far. Bob bowed and flashed them his most charming smile. Resolutely ignoring Val's snickers, he said, "Hello, ladies. We'd like one of those lovely golden apples, if it's not too much trouble."   
In perfect unison, the girls' smiles became worried frowns. Their eyes, Bob noticed, were also different colours: Brown's eyes matched her hair, Orange's were green like Val's, and Yellow's were almost exactly the same shade as Bob's own skin.   
"Oh, dear," said Yellow.   
"Father won't like that at all," said Brown.   
"And then he'll make a frightful mess and make more work for us," said Orange.   
"Don't tell him, then," suggested Val in a tone half conspiratorial, half condescending. "I'm sure he won't notice if one apple's gone."   
"Oh, he will."   
"He notices everything."   
"He has very good eyes."   
Matrix gave a snort of impatience. Bob treated the girls to another smile. "Would you excuse us for just one moment?" They nodded, their heads bobbing in tandem. The party walked a short distance away and went into a huddle.   
"Well, _they're_ not going to be much help," sneered Matrix.   
"They're not very bright," agreed Val. "Maybe we could trick them into helping us?"   
"I've got a better idea," said Enzo. He approached the Game sprites again. "Does that dragon breathe fire?"   
"Fire?"   
"I don't think so."   
"I've never seen him do it, anyway."   
"Good," said Enzo. He shot into the air, rising until he was well out of the dragon's reach, and headed for the apple tree. The dragon stretched its necks and snapped at him, but no flames were in evidence. Enzo waved cheerily at his friends and did a loop-de-loop, then proceeded towards the tree. Before he could seize an apple, however, what had looked like part of a distant mountain range reached out a hand and grabbed him.   
"_Enzo!_" cried his companions as the hand disappeared into the clouds.   
"Hello, Father!" chorused the girls, waving synchronously.   
The three Guardians stared open-mouthed at the gargantuan Game sprite, then scattered and ran as a foot the size of Bob's living room lifted high into the air and descended towards them. It came down with a deafening _thump_ with its toes near the apple tree and its heel next to its owner's smiling daughters. Matrix roared, leapt onto the nearest toe, ran up the foot, and started hacking at the ankle with his sword. The foot rose slightly again and shook, trying to dislodge him as one might a stinging insect.   
Bob thought frantically, trying to think of something, anything, that he or Glitch could do against a Game sprite this large. He suspected it was beyond even a keytool's powers. 

"If you seek to pass me by…" 

The User was outside! Bob cast around desperately for something that might inspire him to a course of action and noticed Val, who seemed to be totally ignoring the fight. She was gazing with curious intensity at the nearest of the golden apples. "Val!" he bellowed. "Do something!"   
Val nodded, nocked an arrow, took careful aim, and shot the apple stem.   
She was already running when the arrow hit. She climbed up a statue, just barely managed to jump onto the giant's foot, sprinted the length of it, and took a flying leap off the big toe. Even with the altitude this gave her, she was still well within reach of the dragon's nearest heads. Several of them came around and opened their mouths…   
The apple smacked into Val's outstretched hand.   
"Game Over." There was an upward rush of purple, and Val did a belly flop on the sofa. Matrix thumped onto the carpet. Their movement through the Game had somehow taken them right into Bob's living room.   
"Way to go, Val!" exclaimed Bob, although privately he wondered if his heart rate would ever return to normal. "That was quick thinking!"   
"Yeah, thanks," panted Matrix.   
Val pushed herself up into a sitting position and grinned her usual immodest grin, but it dissolved immediately. "Hey, where's Enzo?" They looked around in alarm and were about to start calling his name when they heard a rapidly crescendoing noise.   
"aaaAAA_AAAHHH!_" Enzo crashed, screaming, through the roof. Fortunately, Val's trampoline broke his fall. 


	8. In which goodbyes are said

"So can I say it?"   
"I don't think so, Val."   
"Please, Bobby?"   
"If she says it, I'm waiting outside."   
"Come on, Val, you really shouldn't…"   
Val took a deep breath. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…"   
Even Enzo clapped his hands over his ears. "Okay, okay!" cried Bob. "You can say it!"   
"Thanks, Bobby!" Val flung open the doors of the Diner. "Cower, puny mortals!"   
The room fell silent. Matrix facepalmed as Val looked at all the staring binomes and started giggling uncontrollably.   
Dot pushed back her barstool and came over, walking just a tiny bit faster than might be expected. Mouse and AndrAIa followed her.   
"Ah, the high priestess of the solar temple approaches," said Val.   
Dot gave her a look. "What are you talking about?"   
"We rebooted as gods!" Enzo told her. "I got to fly! It was cool!"   
"And masterful flying it was, Your Fleetness," said Val with a curtsey.   
"Thanks, Your… um… Lunarness?"   
"It'll do."   
"I was a sun god," Bob said by way of further explanation.   
"Very fitting," smiled Dot. "So… you were… all right? In the Game? You were awfully tired when it came down…"   
"I was fine," he assured her. "Being in a Game really boosts your energy levels, and my character wasn't a fighter anyway. I hope you weren't too worried," he added solicitously.   
"Of course not!" she said hastily. "After all, you're the best."   
"Dot, honey?" said Mouse sweetly, coming up behind her. "You lie like a rug."   
"Remember what Phong said about expressing your emotions," AndrAIa added in a stern tone as she joined them.   
"Miss Confidence here didn't stop pacin' from the time you left 'til Game Over," Mouse informed Bob. "Ah wish you'da won sooner; she was makin' us all dizzy."   
"Sorry," said Bob with a smile. "Anyway, I didn't win; Val did."   
Val grinned at him. "Why, thank you, Your Radiance."   
"_Will_ you cut that out?" groused Matrix.   
"Certainly, Your Belligerence," said Val. Then she whooped with laughter, ran across the room, and dove under a table. Enzo followed her. Matrix glowered, but didn't make any move to chase them.   
"I'm sorry I had you worried," Bob told Dot.   
"That's all right. It wasn't _your_ fault," she added pointedly.   
AndrAIa heaved a sigh. "I _said_ I was sorry."   
"Actually, you're not the only one I've been worried about," said Dot, lowering her voice. "I'm glad that Val and Enzo get along so well, but… I'm concerned that she might be a bad influence on him. Don't get me wrong," she added hastily, "she's a nice girl, but she's so… out of control! The way they keep zipping off all the time… I don't want either of them getting into trouble…"   
Bob looked over Dot's shoulder and smiled. Dot turned to follow his gaze.   
The topics of conversation had emerged from their hiding place and were sitting at the table, side by side. They were looking at a small window. Val was pointing to parts of it and speaking animatedly. "… several two-letter words. That's good. And see, this one shows up a few times, so it's a particularly common word. I'm betting that one of the letters is T or O. We don't know which yet, though, so let's compare it to the three-letter words…"   
AndrAIa laughed. "You were saying, Dot?"   
Dot looked puzzled and slightly abashed. "Never mind." Bob put his arm around her shoulders. This, he decided, was not the time to tell her about the gorgon.   
Matrix had apparently reached the same conclusion, because he changed the subject. "So," he said to AndrAIa, "let's see what you bought." 

Bob was _not_ feeling well. A Guardian developed a strong constitution, but there were some things the inner ear was simply not programmed to handle. He began to speak, but all that came out was a strangled "Mulp!" as he decided he didn't trust himself to open his mouth just yet. He waited for his stomach to settle and tried again. "Mouse, are you _sure_ you've never played Hypercube before?"   
"Never in my runtime, but Ah like it," said Mouse, removing her helmet. She had, after hearing a brief explanation of the game, thoroughly trounced all five opponents.   
"Nice driving, Mouse!" called Ray, approaching from further down the row of vehicles.   
"Thanks, hon!"   
Val pulled her vehicle up on the other side of Bob's and stumbled out. "Whoo… dizzy…" She giggled. The great green-and-blue cube, sensing that all six vehicles were back in their starting positions, stopped its aimless rotation and began to turn so that the side they were standing on was facing in the direction normally thought of as "up."   
"That's one advantage nulls have over sprites," Professor Matrix commented. "It's hard to get disoriented without sensory organs."   
"Hey, that's right, Dad," said Enzo. "How _do_ you see and hear and stuff?"   
"I'm really not sure. Null physiology is a very under-researched subject."   
"But you _are_ a null!"   
"And you're a sprite. Do you know how every part of your body works?"   
"Oh."   
The cube was now nominally right-side-up. It stopped turning altogether and gently descended until the top face came level with a platform which protruded from the side of the dome. They stepped onto the platform and the next six players were ushered onto the cube. Those of the party with actual bodies twiddled their icons and changed back into their street clothes. They stopped at the filelockers to retrieve Ray's surfbaud and Val's duffel bag, and then Val, Ray, and Mouse returned their rented Hypercube suit codes to the binome on duty (Bob and Enzo, as permanent members, owned theirs). Then they left the arena.   
"Can I ride back with you, Ray?" asked Val.   
"Certainly, little lady. But keep the yelling down to a dull roar, all right? You were a mite _too_ enthusiastic last time."   
"Sorry. I'll try to contain myself."   
"You do that." They stepped onto the surfbaud, Ray took hold of Val's waist, and they were off. The others zipped after.   
Val's second minute in Mainframe had been rather more productive than her first. With sightseeing more or less exhausted, they sought other activities that might justify her visit. She did some encryption work with Mouse and joined Matrix for target practice. (Matrix was surprisingly amenable to the idea, especially after Val offered to be the target.) A couple of tears appeared after the Game, and Bob lent Glitch to Val so she could practise mending them. There was another Game as well, but although they went in, they didn't have to do much. It was a billiards match; Matrix aimed with his cybernetic eye and won in a single shot.   
Dot even agreed to take Val on a "field trip" to the Principal Office and teach her about system administration and the duties of a Command.com. When Bob asked Val what she'd learned, she told him, "How to cut through red tape."   
In between, they still found ample time for frivolities, and the cycles had flown by until now, on the last second, they were returning to the pavement outside the Diner to await the portal that would take Val back to the Academy.   
Dot, Matrix and AndrAIa were waiting outside. The returning Hypercubers came down for a smooth landing, except for Val, who jumped off the surfbaud while it was a metre in the air and still moving.   
"Hi, guys," said Dot, giving Bob a peck on the cheek. "It's time. Have you got everything, Val?"   
Val rolled her eyes. "Everything, and before you ask, yes, I double-checked. Honestly, you need to have some kids of your own," she added with a wink. Bob felt his face growing warm. There was that grin again, and this time it wasn't just coming from Val.   
Just then, somewhat to his relief, the portal appeared. AndrAIa bent down to give Val a hug. "Well, goodbye, Val. It was really nice meeting you."   
"Same here! I had a great time." She turned to Matrix and held out her hand. "Later, Tall, Green and Scary!"   
Matrix shook her hand. "Good luck with training."   
"I hope so. Thanks for the tips." She moved on. "'Bye, Mouse! 'Bye, Ray!"   
"'Bye, sweetie. Have fun!"   
"I always do. 'Bye, Professor Matrix! It was great meeting you. Talking to a null is quite a novel experience."   
"If you think that's novel, you should try being one."   
"I'll pass, thanks."   
"Have a good time at the Academy."   
"Thanks." She turned to Enzo and squatted so they were face to face. "So, will I be seeing you at the Academy, spriteling?"   
"You know it!"   
Val grinned and poked him on the end of the nose. "Oh, almost forgot!" She opened her duffel bag and pulled out several applets. Handing them to Enzo, she told him, "You can have these. I've got dozens."   
"Cool! Thanks!"   
"Enjoy." She straightened up and faced Dot. "'Bye, Dot! It was awesome meeting you! Hey, if you ever need a flower girl, you know where to find me."   
Dot looked a bit embarrassed, but she smiled. "Aren't you a little old to be a flower girl?"   
Val winked. "Since when have I ever let that stop me?"   
A Vid Window sprang up in front of the portal. "Any time you're ready, cadet," said the balding olive-green Guardian in the window petulantly.   
"Sorry, Angus. Be right there." Angus nodded doubtfully and closed the connection. Val turned back to Bob and hugged him with every ounce of her limited strength. "'Bye, Brown-Eyes! It was terrific seeing you. Will you come visit me sometime?"   
"I'll try. You're welcome to visit here whenever you have a chance."   
"Well, not _too_ soon. I have to give the system time to recover."   
"You got that right. Good luck at the Academy, and give my love to Aunt Ada and Uncle Ed, okay?"   
"Give it to 'em yourself! They'd be thrilled to hear from you."   
"Yeah, all right. And now you'd better get going!"   
Val nodded and walked to the portal. She turned and waved one last time. "'Bye, everyone!" She stepped into the portal, and it shrank and vanished.   
"Nice kid," said AndrAIa. Matrix made a noncommittal noise.   
Dot said nothing, but stared thoughtfully into space. Then she said, "Bob? If we ever _do_ have children, do you think we'll sort of cancel out?"   
Bob paused, and then nodded. "Let's hope so." 


End file.
